Rida Fatima in Conversation with Dr Monica Wirz 

Dr. Monica Wirz is a Visiting Fellow at Cambridge Judge Business School, a Partner at ClueTrain Consulting, and an alumna of Pembroke College (2009). 

What are three fundamental practices that someone should equip themselves (particularly women) when going into networking? 

Perhaps before we discuss these practices it might be relevant to take a step back and consider our understanding of networking. More widely, networking is a process of building and maintaining relationships that can offer mutual support, information, and access to opportunities. This also includes professional opportunities but, in a way, the term has been reduced to the context of careers. As a tool for career advancement, it is often associated with informal gatherings and insider access to decision-makers. 

It is important to highlight at this point that this practice has historically been gendered, reflecting broader societal inequalities and the fact that corporate spaces have been initially occupied by men (and still are mostly led by men). Traditional networking spaces, such as golf clubs, after-hours drinks or work events, often excluded women, inadvertently reinforcing male-centric power structures. Even today, women report facing structural barriers, implicit biases or double standards when networking. This gendered dynamic highlights the need for more inclusive leadership, as well as a reflection on how women are going to engage in networking practices.  

With this in mind, we come to realise that whereas more instrumental or transactional networking practices focused on direct career advancement might work well for men, women face some additional hurdles, and their networking efforts do not necessarily bring the same benefits as men’s. Rather than just trying harder, women must be strategic in their approach; If I were to suggest a plan to a young woman at the beginning of her professional journey I would start with 3 foundational practices: 

1. Authentic self: connect your goals (and dreams) to your development plan through a gap analysis that looks at where you are now and where you want to be in your ideal life.  This should go beyond yourself as a professional and encompass your personal identity and values. Once you understand who you are and what you are about it becomes easier to make decisions, including those related to professional development and to the best networking opportunities to help you achieve your goals. This deep knowledge of who you are and what you stand for is a helpful self-anchoring tool, particularly in environments where you feel the need to over-perform or over-explain yourself:  it provides you with an internal compass to help you navigate power dynamics with greater clarity.  
2. Adopt a long-term lens: you are likely to have several jobs and careers during your lifetime, possibly with periods of no professional activity in between. Your long-term goals should still orient you through all of them.  It is also important to go beyond the merely transactional:  who you meet at university might put a word in for you at a job negotiation  40 years down the line… we are always building or relying on our reputation even when not actively doing so, which makes it important to know who you are and who you want to become and from there orient your actions consistently across different areas of life. From this perspective, we are networking in every interaction we have, and every interaction leaves an impression that may work in your favour at some point in your life.  
3. Intentionality: up to now, I have taken a broader perspective both beyond the professional space and in terms of time, but when considering specific practices to improve your networking efficacy, intentionality is a key tool. This does not mean “manipulation”, but being aware of and committed to your goals when you are networking. Interact with people with a mindset that they all can help you learn and grow somehow (even if that means learning to do the opposite of what they do!). So, listen actively, make connections, help if you can, and be fully present in each interaction.  After that encounter, how can you maintain the relevance of that new contact in the long term? Small gestures – such as a thank you message on LinkedIn, sharing an event or article that might interest them, or making an introduction – can go a long way to create a connection. 

Why do you think the philosophy of the self is so important in understanding something as business-like as networking – something that seems so detached from therapeutic language? Shouldn’t we separate the person from the professional? 

That separation is a myth, and often a harmful one. If you think of a “philosophy of the self” as a personal framework of beliefs and principles to help us understand and navigate our place in the world, you see that it is impossible to separate the personal from the professional.   

Instead of trying to separate them from each other, we should consider how to integrate them in a way that allows for authenticity and continual growth. Women, in particular, deal with this tension in the workplace on a daily basis: socially, we are expected to be warm and attentive, but if we are perceived as too warm or attentive at work, our behaviour might be misconstrued as too emotional, or adequate for “support” but not “leading” roles.  If this perception veers too much in the other direction, though, a woman’s assertiveness and distance might be interpreted with suspicion about her authenticity, which also poses questions of professional legitimacy and belonging. It is already hard enough trying to modulate people’s perception of us… if we are not clear about our values and goals, or if we are struggling with a fragmented personal and professional presentation of ourselves, the task becomes far too hard. Our time and resources are best applied to aligning our values with our conduct and being consistent in our interactions.   

This applies to all work practices, including networking, which is deeply relational and about how we present ourselves, how we are perceived and how we connect with others. These are all aspects of the self that are being disclosed through each aspect of the networking interaction: our explicit messages, the ease with which we express ourselves, what we do not say, and how our bodies show we are at ease, or not.  

What was one networking experience with someone that changed your outlook and life? 

Years ago, I went to a professional networking event with a work colleague, a woman who is 30 years older than me and who has since become one of my best friends.  On joining her after having talked to one of the speakers who kickstarted the event, she commented how my demeanour talking to him had changed and was completely different to what she saw in me at work.  She said I behaved in a much more solicitous and “feminine” way, which made me look much more junior than him.  Until that moment, I had never realised that I behaved in such a variable way.  That comment, coming from a person I trusted and respected, opened a door for me to question gender relations and concepts of performativity, which later I started to study through Gender Theories. What happened in that networking session has made me much more self-reflexive and allowed me to consider how important it is to align my values with my goals and behaviours in order to project a professional image that better matches them.  

What are three mistakes people (particularly women) make when networking in professional spaces? 

In formal networking groups at work, there is a danger that these spaces become ineffective echo chambers, even if they are still positive spaces for emotional support. It is important, when setting up or being part of a networking group, that it is treated as an integral part of the job, that is, that this group is an activity that is well integrated within the company’s business goals: with clear objectives, metrics, accountability systems and, ideally, a well-defined budget.  In women’s networking groups, one of the mistakes that women make is that they give their time freely to a group that is not perceived as strategically relevant to the organisation.  The time and energy invested rarely bring returns in terms of career advancement.  

Second, networking only with peers. Peer support is crucial, but don’t underestimate the power of cross-generational, cross-sector connections, or of networking with people whose ideas you do not necessarily agree with. Seek out mentors, sponsors, and people in adjacent fields who can offer fresh and alternative perspectives. This will improve the quality of your thoughts and of your network, as these connections give you more visibility.  

Third, not following up. A connection made while networking is only the beginning. Nurturing that relationship takes initiative and persistence, which women sometimes hesitate to exercise for fear of being intrusive. 

Can you recommend some literature that will help women work on their idea of personhood and how it affects their professionalism – for some guidance? 

Literature… It is like being a child at a toy shop… you wish you could get lost there forever.  However, because we have focused on the particularities faced by women in networking, I will keep to the literature produced by women in this case. One other reason for my choice is that as most of the world is read through a male lens, made invisible as it is portrayed as neutral and objective, the experiences of women often are not adequately represented. Women’s authors give us the chance to open up this space.  

Caroline Criado Perez’ Invisible Women is an eye-opener regarding this supposed “neutrality”. It helps men and women understand how pervading this phenomenon is and how material its impact is on the lives of women.  

Virginia Woolf’s A Room of One’s Own was a book that has never lost relevance: for women to achieve their full potential women need a physical space and freedom to explore their inner world and develop their personhood. In order to obtain this, financial independence and intellectual autonomy are crucial requirements. 

Simone de Beauvoir’s The Second Sex is another classic, a foundational reading on personhood, as it critiques how gendered social structures, more than biology, shape the very conditions for being recognised as a human subject. This insight helps us see how professional norms, which are built around male-centric ideals, unintentionally marginalise women as the “other”, either lacking or displaying inadequate skills, making their experience and professional journey less straightforward than their male counterparts.  

Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale is scarily prophetic in today’s world and an important warning of how tenuous one’s position in society is. It urges us to be alert as to how systems of power can strip individuals, and particularly women, of their dignity, autonomy and identity, as well as their right to participate fully – let alone as equals – in public and professional life. It forces us to confront how our very personhood can be eroded when power is unchallenged and it urges us to continue to develop ourselves professionally and ethically so our voices can be this necessary challenge to power.  

Finally, and specifically on the topic of networking from an inclusive leadership lens, I am currently working on a chapter with a colleague, Erica Maddox, “Networking: Improving its Efficacy Rate” in a book that I am co-editing with my colleague Dr Jennifer Martin: “Inclusive Leadership: Navigating a Post EDI World”. Our aim for this book is to take stock of where equity initiatives are in the world and to shift the lens from where individuals may be “lacking” to the role institutions and leadership play in the process.  

Girl Talk thanks Dr Monica Wirz for her time and invaluable insights!